everything that's wrong with meghan trainor's 'dear future husband'

I've been resisting this post for a while due to how often I find myself singing along with this song, but no longer could I hold it in.  Meghan Trainor has already been called out for skinny shaming while trying to promote body positivity and this time in what seems to be a missguided attempt at a feminist anthem she has outdone herself.   

Also - it sounds a lot like Dance With Me by Olly Murs.  

Dear future husband,

ALREADY STOP.  The whole assumption of marriage is problematic.  For a singer who's biggest audience is pre-teen girls this heteronormative assumption can be damaging

Here's a few things
You'll need to know if you wanna be
My one and only all my life

Vomit.  This whole bit puts her on a pedestal and makes her needs more important than his.  Because of course, as a man he needs to prove himself to be worthy of such a woman.  *rolls eyes*

Take me on a date
I deserve a break
And don't forget the flowers every anniversary

Trainor, nobody owes you anything.  And flowers get boring surely, let the man get creative with those anniversary gifts.

'Cause if you'll treat me right
I'll be the perfect wife
Buying groceries
Buy-buying what you need

WHAT!? WHEN DID THAT BECOME THE DEFINITION OF A PERFECT WIFE?!  There are so many cool things women can do and grocery shopping is not one of them.

You got that 9 to 5
But, baby, so do I
So don't be thinking I'll be home and baking apple pies
I never learned to cook
But I can write a hook
Sing along with me
Sing-sing along with me (hey)

hooray she's a working lady! However, during this bit in the video she's scrubbing the floor while dressed like a characters from a 1950s sitcom.

You gotta know how to treat me like a lady
Even when I'm acting crazy
Tell me everything's alright

Sometimes I'm crazy but hey, I'm your wife therefore be cool about it! Tell me I'm great!

Dear future husband,
Here's a few things you'll need to know if you wanna be
My one and only all my life

 His whole life.  That's a long time to commit to someone with so many rules.

Dear future husband,
If you wanna get that special lovin'
Tell me I'm beautiful each and every night

??? This is bad.  No 'special lovin' until you compliment her, hun.

After every fight
Just apologize
And maybe then I'll let you try and rock my body right

Oh wait.  'Special lovin' after apologies too.  Is she for real?

Even if I was wrong
You know I'm never wrong
Why disagree?
Why, why disagree?

So much is wrong with this.  Therefore, Meghan babes, you're wrong and a liar.  

Dear future husband,
Make time for me
Don't leave me lonely
And know we'll never see your family more than mine

Okay this is weird.  Say goodbye to your family Husband because Megs is here to stay and you're having her family too.  

I'll be sleeping on the left side of the bed (hey)
Open doors for me and you might get some kisses
Don't have a dirty mind 

THIS IS HORRID.  You know what she nearly says.  I gasp every time.  Quit it Trainor.  Stop sexualising yourself over the most trivial things.  

Just be a classy guy
Buy me a ring
Buy-buy me a ring, babe

So demanding.  So. Demanding.  Where's the spontaneity?

Future husband, better love me right

That sounds like a threat.  A nice threat to end an empowering love song.   Cute.